Why are we Jealous of our Boyfriend’s Ex?
Possibly you ran into your girlfriend’s ex recently, and you were shocked to discover yourself flaring with jealousy.
It’s over in between them, so rationally you have absolutely nothing to fret about, right? Still, you couldn’t help but see that your girlfriend’s ex is … prettier (or more good-looking), smarter, more effective– or at least it appeared that method in your mind. At any rate, it made you begin to question yourself.
Now, it is true that your partner’s ex may indeed be much better than you in every way, but that’s likely not the case. They broke up for a factor! What’s most likely a lot more most likely is that you are exploding her attributes in your mind, as human beings tend to do, because you’re not completely protected in the relationship.
More notably, you may likewise not be totally secure in yourself. Despite the fact that you may be feeling unfavorable feelings right now, you might in fact be able to utilize this crappy situation as an opportunity to find out about yourself and improve your life.
How? Well, if you feel jealous of your sweetheart’s ex and don’t know why, have a look at the 5 suggestions below and try implementing them as quickly as you can– prior to you drive yourself crazy.
What to Do When I Feel Insecure About My Boyfriend’s Ex:
1. Maybe their ex is trying to make you jealous.
It’s unfortunate, but some individuals are very insecure and have absolutely nothing better to do with their lives than try to tinker other people’s relationships.
Unlikely as it may be, your boyfriend’s ex could be attempting to make him (and you) jealous by flaunting all of her finest qualities in your face. This could be due to the fact that she’s trying to win the boyfriend back, or because she might just be trying to heal her bruised ego by making herself appear better than you.
Simply put, it most likely has nothing to do with you. This is just something that she may have to go through, specifically if your sweetheart was the one who kicked her to the curb. Considering that you’re feeling insecure yourself, you can most likely comprehend!
If you presume that this is what’s going on, though, bring it to your sweetheart’s attention. Mention how it makes you uncomfortable that his ex is wearing her skimpiest clothing around him, that she’s boasting about how much weight she lost and displaying her brand-new six-pack, or whatever else may be going on.
By bringing this into his awareness, he may be inclined to avoid her. In fact, if you presume as to confront his ex about it yourself, she’s likely to stop. In some cases, all it takes to get individuals to stop acting like douches is to call them out on it.
Which parts of her make you the most jealous?
Is it her appearance? Do you believe your partner’s ex is prettier than you? (This is undoubtedly difficult to quantify. “Pretty” can imply anything to anyone. The point here is that you believe she is much better looking.).
Is it her social status? Does she have more cash than your family? A better education? More opportunities? A fancier social circle? Does it make you seem like a peasant to compare yourself to her? Do you feel compelled to make fun of her because she buys uselessly expensive things?
Is it her intelligence or the way she carries herself? Does she look like she’s truly smart, and you feel like an idiot whenever you connect with her? Do you quickly see why your sweetheart was intrigued by her wit and it troubles you?
Is it the reality that she appears more compatible with your sweetheart? Do you frequently question why he broke up with her, thinking about that they have a lot in common?
Is she simply in general a truly good and ethical individual? Does she save whales for a living? Is she so kind and considerate that it just drives you nuts? Do you sort of like her a bit, in spite of yourself? Do you privately want she was more of a bitch so that you would have a factor to hate her?
Remember try not to change yourself just because someone broke with you instead of Accept That Part of Yourself.
This is where you need to take care of. Attempting to enhance some perceived flaw to make yourself more appealing to others, or perhaps simply to make yourself feel much better is a fool’s errand over the long term.
Absolutely nothing you will ever do can in fact provide you confidence. That confidence must come from a genuine love on your own. Accept your defects initially, and then look to change them if you want.
Remember you are special
There’s no need to feel jealous of your sweetheart’s ex for the simple reason that he selected you. They’re no longer together, and yet the 2 of you have a loving relationship today. Every day, he chooses to continue being with you, which’s not something to think about gently.