You want to control your girlfriend. But is it possible or there are some other best ways for your problems? In this blog, I will show you what best you can do for your situation. Because I think I know why you want to control her.
To be a controlling boyfriend you need to make her work as you want to. You need to take control in your hand and this will make you a controlling boyfriend. For that, you need to make your own rules and stick with it.
Actually, I am not in favor of a controlling boyfriend. And truly I don’t want you to go on that wrong path. I think there is best you can do to make her only yours. I ask you to read it until the end because I think this will help you a lot.
Why some men try to be a controlling boyfriend?
Some men try to be a controlling boyfriend because they do want to lose their girl. The main reason for this thought to be a controlling guy is insecurity. A thought that she will leave you or cheat you. I am not blaming you for this. It is a natural feeling when we see something wrong.
Many girls do not realize but they start making us feel insecure by their behavior. They try to cross the relationship boundary and here all the mess gets created. She thinks that it is her right to be free but she forgets that relationship come with some boundaries.
If you are feeling that you should be controlling your girlfriend then it means that she have many male friend. Or, I say so called friends, You don’t know what are they, friend or more than that. below are some points which I think make a boyfriend insecure about her girl.
- She talks with her male friend hours. Some time in a group and some time in private.
- When she is talking to her friend she ignores your call.
- She keeps lying to you. Some times there is no need to lie but even she lies to you.
- Her male friends pass dirty jokes on her. Comment on her private parts. And this makes you feel insecure because you know the boy’s nature.
- She enjoys talking adult with her male friends and when you ask then she says that we are the only friend.
- You have seen some wrong things on her phone and when you asked then she gave you a nonsense reason for that. Like I was drunk at that time or It is not me…so on.
- She goes to clubs and parties with her male friends hiding from you.
- She always talk to her ex-boyfriend. Here is why?
There are so many which make us feel bad but above are some of them. If you think I have missed any important then let me know in the comment.
Should you be a controlling boyfriend?
No, not at all. I know she is doing wrong with you but it is her nature. You are not like her. If you want to control her then let me tell you that you can’t. And you shouldn’t. If you want to change yourself just for that girl who does not care about you then you are the dumbest person of this world.
It’s true that you need to do something about it but it is not what you are thinking. There is no need to be a controlling boyfriend. You can do much better things about that. I will show you later what you should do if I am not letting you control her.
Why your girlfriend always hurt you?
Girls always hurt their boyfriend. Sometimes being unaware of it and sometimes by intention. But the point here is not why she hurt you. Or she shouldn’t hurt. That is a different thing. The main point here is what is hurting you. The thing she is doing is inside the boundary or out of it.
Sometimes men get hurt when their girlfriend miss to call them. Its find because it is in the boundary. But if he is getting hurt because her girl never call or text then it is outside the boundary. It must be cured or he should end his relationship.
Your girl hurt you because she thinks whatever she is doing is good. According to her whatever she is doing is right and in the boundary of relationship. She thinks it is her right to talk with his male friends. And I think she is right but there are limitations. And you must have to define those.
You need to talk to her and tell her what you like or whatnot. This is all happening due to different points of view. And you need to show her your point of view. This is the first step you can take. Below are the steps all you have to do to make your condition right. Keep reading and make sure that she comes into her boundaries.
The best you can do in this situation:
This is the primary step. She is doing wrong with you because she may not know your feelings. She may be thinking that you are okay with it. But you are not and it is perfectly fine. Even I have felt this situation when my girl was talking to her ex. That was a very bad feeling. 🙁
So, here all you have to do is to talk. Go and talk to her politely. Share your feelings with her. Tell her how bad you feel when her male friends pass sexual comments on her. Tell her that it feels degrading to you and as she is your girlfriend you have the right to interfere in between.
Trust me if she loves you and has some respect in her heart then she will definitely understand. Even she will promise that she will never do it again. Then please give it a try and see what happens.
2. Making Boundaries
Now you have told her what you feel. But it not end yet. When you will tell her your feelings there are high chances that she will instantly say sorry. And she will again do the same. Momen is very smart. I think smartness is in the girl’s genes. So, she will instantly say sorry and will try to close the topic.
But wait you are not finished yet. You must have to make boundaries now. It’s all your choice what you want from her. But please keep in mind that you have to boundary only those things which you think are affecting your relationship. Don’t get into her personal space.
If she gets ready to keep your relationship alive then that’s great. But if starts saying that she will do whatever she wants to do. Then it means that now the time has come to end your relationship. There is no need to be in a relationship where you are not happy. Because if you respect yourself then others will respect you.
Don’t think that I don’t know how it feels to end a relationship with someone. Because I have done it myself. The girl I told you above who used to talk to her ex. She was the one who was not ready to follow the boundaries. So, I ended the relationship with her. And trust me, that was one of the best decisions of my life.
You may be thinking that if you end your relationship with her then you will never find another girl. This line is total bullshit. This world has 8 billion population and out of which, 49.6% are females. And you need only one of them. Go and make an account on eharmony then start searching your soulmate. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.
3. Converting Yourself into Badass
I think this is the best a guy can do. There are two ways to achieve success. Either you try to downgrade your target or you upgrade yourself. And I think upgrading yourself is the best approach. My ex-girlfriend still calls me and tries to get back in the relationship.
Do you know what is the main reason that your girl is ignoring you? The guy he is talking to is much better than you. This is not the truth but this is what she thinks. I know you are a nice guy but girls don’t prefer nice guys. You need to be get upgraded to your badass version.
This is not a one-night thing. It will take time but once you get upgraded then she will be the one who will beg to be your girlfriend. No need to be a controlling boyfriend. Be a badass and enjoy your life with whoever you want. If you want to be the one then look at this badass guide. This will teach you all the skills you needed.